Essays (Introductions)

The following lesson was designed to help my students understand how an introduction performs and why the performance is necessary. All of the information below was created by my two classes; all I did was provide the questions and they did the rest.

I began the class by providing my students with four introductions from random essays. The sources of these introductions is completely arbitrary; I personally chose samples from both student and professional essays. I broke the class into four equal groups and than asked them to read the introductions and choose the introductions they liked most and least. After each group localized their choices, they were asked to write on the chalk board two qualities each paragraph possessed that influenced their decision (some ideas were repeated, which was fine).

I wrote down the lists from both classes, typed them on to one document, and distributed them during the following class so the students could use them for future reference.

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ENGL020
Fall 2008

Checklist for Writing an Effective Introduction

An effective introduction possesses the following characteristics:
-It grabs the reader’s attention
-The first three sentences are crisp and effective
-It is personal (makes the connection between the writer and the topic)
-It arouses questions (engages the reader)
-The issue of the essay is clear
-The issue is relevant
-The writer’s position is made with examples and details
-It flows (uses smooth transitions)
-It’s easy to follow
-The information is useful

An ineffective introduction does one or more of the following:
-Presents too much information too soon
-Blunt
-Repetitive (be it with words or phrases)
-Too few details
-Doesn’t flow
-Confusing
-Dull
-Bad transitions (choppy)
-Uses questionable sources
-Comes out of nowhere (fails to express relevance)
-Hard to follow
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After the students created the list, I projected the image of Martin Luther King that is at at the top of this post onto the screen at the front of the room. I then played his speech Keep Moving (thanks Dan) that he gave in Birmingham.

Note: Both the image and speech I found on a blog I read called Born to be Nervous. I'm always amazed, but never surprised, at the useful materials I find on the blogosphere. I think it's important that we find ways to incorporate both technology and culture into our classrooms and blogs are a fantastic resource that satisfy these needs on all levels.

I asked the students, as a class, to first explain the main issue of the speech and then, with their groups, to write an introduction for that issue using the guidelines they created earlier. To provoke an inspired effort, I told each class (I have two) that the other class would vote on the most effective introduction and the winning group in each class would receive extra credit.

These were the introductions from each class, exactly as they were written:

ENGL020-02
Fall 2008
Group Introductions

(1) The topic at hand is freedom freedom. By saying freedom freedom we mean that we are still fighting a war of wanting to be free in a society where freedom is not always allowed. In Dr. King’s speech he tells us to keep on moving and till this day we are still fighting for equality and freedom.
By electing an African American for president we have become one step closer to equality. Because of Dr. King’s speech Obama may have been influenced to run for president. Not only has Dr. King influenced just Obama to keeping on freedom for his rights, but he’s also influenced the whole nation to keep fighting for their dreams and what they feel is right.

(2) People had fought for their freedom in all possible ways. Some cried and some die for it. The dark pages of the book of life continue to an unknown end. Even today freedom is a big issue that has to be address. A lot of families have been carrying with this pain for a long time, and their faith is what kept them alive.
Martin Luther King Jr. is a legend and a hero that fought for our freedom and human dignity. He believed that we were all equal do not matter the race, color, background etc. One of his famous quotes was “If you cannot fly, run; if you cannot run, walk; but at least keep moving.” Life continues and we have to take the most of it. Many people were arrested for defending their rights and now because of the effort of this amazing legend, United States have changed.

(3) Who said life was going to be easy? With the many issues we face today and faced in the past I don’t think that question will ever be true. Till this day we face racism. It’s just hard for certain people to accept other from different race having equal opportunity. But that’s not the only issue we face. How abut freedom, or human dignity. It’s stressful, knowing that our country still struggles in being untitled no matter the race for color of your skin. But thanks to idols in the past that help us move on up one step closer to be dream of our country being free from racism. You know who I am talking Dr. King. He stresses all the issues we face today in is speech of just keep moving.
The fight for equality and freedom never felt so strong since Obama has become president. This election was a very extreme and exciting. I believe that change is coming and for the good. Because of who Obama is and where he grew up at, it’s what makes him a good person. He targets all the young and college education people.

(4) People in our society today are racists and segregate against others. There are still issues today with equality between races. For example , judgement due to color of others skin. In the 50's and 60's , blacks and white's where seperated in many areas of life. now being 2008, equality has come a long way, still leaving stubborn people who belive in seperation between races.
In work places today, many colored people are mistreated, they look at you like you dont belong on this earth, which is not fair at all. Sometimes, its harder for black males to get a job. However, in the streets colored people and also, spanish people are not treated right they get pulled over for no reason at all, and if they do get pulled over for a reason its for something stupid.
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ENGL020-04
Fall 2008
Group Introductions

(1)

Just Keep Swimming

In the movie Finding Nemo Dori once said “Just keep swimming”. I am sure we are all pretty familiar with this film. What Dori means is when you are going through a dark time, don’t be afraid and keep moving ahead and you will eventually find the light at the end of the tunnel. It may take a little hard work to achieve what you want, but don’t ever give up on any of your goals in life. If you work hard now you will be able to play harder later.
In the movie Finding Nemo there were many moments of dark times. For instance when Nemo tried to escape the fish tank he failed several times. Then he tried again and he never gave up in hopes of finding his father. That little fish had never gave up on his freedom and never stopped swimming and neither should we. So just remember to “Just keep swimming”.

(2) In the year 2008 people still have to fight for there freedom. you would believe after all the martins and malcoms speeches americans would be the land of the free. people still go through rascim and injustice. Many people in america today have familes that they are responsable of, and are still losing their jobs. People today should stand up for what they believe in and still continue to fight for their rights.
Are position on this we have been fighting for freedom for to long now. we have made alot of progress in the world but are fully there. Every new generation is fighting more and more to better are freedom. I think if we keep trying to come together as one freedom will come to us and we can move on to the next issue.

(3) Have you ever been insulted by a racial comment or action? Well I have being a person of color I've been. One day I was on my way to the store to meet up with some friends. Before I could get to the store, I had to cross a busy intersection. After I looked both ways and procided to enter the street. A truck came speeding down the road as I tried to hurry across to the other side, the truck cut me off. The man in the window yelled out to me as he passed. The word cut me to the bone, he had called me the n- word and spat at me. I was devistated by his comment and his rebel flag as it passed out of sight.
The reason why we think racism is wrong is because interfires with human rights. The bursness of racism is to offend anothe inferior. Racism needs to die, we need to figure a way to stamp it out. Prejudgement that pleages us as a people. Racism starts at home with adults teaching their young children that color is a big deal. We need to change the way the older rasist think help them to understand that we are all humans not seperated by color of our skin or in anyway. We all eat, sleep, and breath. Stop comiting our future generations to the same fate as today. We all have the power to change and together we can erase the racism.

(4) How do you define freedom? Most people go along with the amendment of the constitution as a freedom of speech, religious practice and have the liberty to do anything they would want at any given time. For centuries, human beings have fought for there freedom. To the beginning of time when human beings evolved, there have been many wars over freedom. For illustration, America fought there independence from Britain in the revolutionary war. Also, America had war with Iraq because Iraq threatened Americans freedom.
When someone takes away your freedom, the first thing they should do is stand up for them selves. As Martin Luther King said in his speech "Always keep on moving." He believed that people should stand for there rights and never give up in what they believe in. If you are right millions will raise behind you.